THE SAN DIEGO PADRES ARE WORLD CHAMPS

  Hello again this is I.B. Lyon reporting for Mad News. The 13th World Series was lucky for Jgarron and his San Diego Padres. They beat  McCabe Award winner jefepwnzer and his Oakland Athletics in 6 games. I agree with my Colleague kgrffth that Timothy Osik was the MVP of the playoffs.He hit .375 with 4 Homers ,8 RBI'S 8 Stolen bases,9 Walks and scored 18 Runs. It's nice to have a stud leadoff hitter playing LF. What was really suprising was the performance of the Padres Old Geezer Closer Skeeter Brown . Skeeter "On My Peter" Brown was 8 for 9 in save opportunities giving up only 2 runs during the playoffs. He also won his first FOY award after a career 509 saves in 589 chances. Talk about going out on top.   I caught up to the Jgarron during the Championship party held at the San Diego Ramada Inn . He was sitting at the Blackjack table dealing and wheeling. I sat down next to starting 2nd baseman Gary Boone and put my bet down. "Well look what we got here" said Jgarron with a with a big stoggie lodged in the corner of his mouth. The Tobacco Dirigible moved up and down with violent jerks as he puffed and spoke through a cloud of Cigar smoke. "You must be that reporter from that rag McCabe Magazine? Never read that Trash Mad puts out. He always makes fun of my players and rubs it in when one of my guys gets hurt". He deftly downed a scotch on the rocks without losing his stoggie. And while he ordered two more drinks from a lovely young redhead with Big-uns I took the opportunity to sooth jgarrons ruffled feathers. "I think you have done a masterful job building your team. And if I remember right ,Mad picked you to win the Series in last years previews. And also gave you a kind write-up in this years preview." He turned his cards over and cackled  "21 suckers" leaned his head down and forward and looked at me through the smoke. and said. "Hmm did not know that...maybe ol mad aint so bad after tal. I replied " Yes, he's not all bad. But I want to ask you about your San Diego Padres. Now that you've won it all . What are your plans for next season?"
Just then to my right Boone flicked his cards and yelled "Hit me". Jgarron looked at him with disgust and said as he rose from his stool " I should knock you into next week after going 7 for 33 in the playoffs." then he turned his wrath towards me and said" And you Lyons, Why would I think about next year already. You can go back to yer boss. I aint giving away my secrets over a card game all boozed up. Now leave me be !!"
  I was summarily escorted out the door and jostled to the curb. As I looked at the San Diego Skyline It occured to me. The Padres not only rough you up on the Field. They also will rough you up off of it. Jgarron and his minnons will be back next season guys. So lift them weights and take a couple of Krav Maga classes.Cuz it's gonna take some muscle to beat the Padres.